Parenting
For DaddiesFor Mommies

Parenting Tweets

Raising children

its not easy, but sure is fun

Just taught my kids about raxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
Just taught my kids about raxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
My favourite part of parenting is always having someone around who doesn't realise that I am a deeply flawed individual
My favourite part of parenting is always having someone around who doesn’t realise that I am a deeply flawed individual
Parenthood is: Telling your kids that they can't eat brownies for breakfast. then easting brownies for breakfast after they leave for school
Parenthood is: Telling your kids that they can’t eat brownies for breakfast. then easting brownies for breakfast after they leave for school
As the parent of a 5 yo boy, I can name all the dinosaurs and none of my coworkers
As the parent of a 5 yo boy, I can name all the dinosaurs and none of my coworkers
It's cute how you let her dress herself. Yes, She did that
It’s cute how you let her dress herself. Yes, She did that
My todler woke up upset because he couldn't find his glasses. But what really set him he doesn't even wear glasses
My todler woke up upset because he couldn’t find his glasses. But what really set him he doesn’t even wear glasses
Why don't you work at Mcdonalds? I already have a job. I wish you were cool.
Why don’t you work at Mcdonalds? I already have a job. I wish you were cool.
And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in and doing whatever we wanted whenever we wanted in a clean house and we had kids
And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in and doing whatever we wanted whenever we wanted in a clean house and we had kids
It's an old phone. Like a 4S? No, like a house phone that;s attached to the wall with a cord. I don't understand
It’s an old phone. Like a 4S? No, like a house phone that;s attached to the wall with a cord. I don’t understand
All our children's snacks are organic, Cool, my kid eats candy off the floor
All our children’s snacks are organic, Cool, my kid eats candy off the floor
I made pork. I don't eat pork. It's chicken. Oh yeah, I like that kind of chicken
I made pork. I don’t eat pork. It’s chicken. Oh yeah, I like that kind of chicken
My favourite thing about watching a new movie with my 5yo is probably watching it 17 times a day for the next 3 month
My favourite thing about watching a new movie with my 5yo is probably watching it 17 times a day for the next 3 month
I woke up with My Little Pony hoof in my mouth. Parenthood is the strangest party I've ever attended
I woke up with My Little Pony hoof in my mouth. Parenthood is the strangest party I’ve ever attended
7 y/o daughter: If I'm watching cartoons on the couch then wouldn't they be couchtoons cause I'm not in a car? No paternity test needed
7 y/o daughter: If I’m watching cartoons on the couch then wouldn’t they be couchtoons cause I’m not in a car? No paternity test needed
In case you were wondering, the loudest sound in the world is my kid screaming. Are you pooping? in a public restroom
In case you were wondering, the loudest sound in the world is my kid screaming. Are you pooping? in a public restroom
The 3 yo insisted on helping me put all the laundry away. It;s only taken us 6 hours and 10 minutes and apparently pants go in the fridge now
The 3 yo insisted on helping me put all the laundry away. It;s only taken us 6 hours and 10 minutes and apparently pants go in the fridge now

Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night
My 14 yo made fun of me this morning because I had to go to work while he had a snowday so I changed the WIFI password
My 14 yo made fun of me this morning because I had to go to work while he had a snowday so I changed the WIFI password
Good night kids. Good night dad. Goodnight monster that eats children who are bad. Wife throught radio under the bed
Good night kids. Good night dad. Goodnight monster that eats children who are bad. Wife throught radio under the bed ” Goodnight”
There's my big girl. I'm not a big girl! There's my little girl. I'm not little. Who are you? a Dragon
There’s my big girl. I’m not a big girl! There’s my little girl. I’m not little. Who are you? a Dragon
What did you learn in the kindergarten today? A doughnut would help me to remember. Apparently she learned bribery.
What did you learn in the kindergarten today? A doughnut would help me to remember. Apparently she learned bribery.
Daddy can I tell you a secret? Sure thing buddy. *grabs my face and whispers:
Daddy can I tell you a secret? Sure thing buddy. *grabs my face and whispers:” I just pooped and I didn’t wash my hands”
You can make a wish on any star you want. Which one is the death star?
You can make a wish on any star you want. Which one is the death star?
Never, and I mean NEVER make an eye contact with a child on the verge of falling asleep. They will sense your excitement and abort mission
Never, and I mean NEVER make an eye contact with a child on the verge of falling asleep. They will sense your excitement and abort mission
We already have three gifts. What do you think the new baby will be? A cat
We already have three gifts. What do you think the new baby will be? A cat